Last weekend I went to my favorite neighborhood hibachi restaurant. In hibachi style restaurants, random patrons are typically squeezed into tight seating conditions centered around a cook-top table. While sitting with strangers isn’t a problem for me, I’m wholly aware that it’s a toss up in terms of choice of dinner companions. This week, to my left, three women of legal drinking age out on the town celebrating mom’s night out. On my right, three women who were clearly underage and taking advantage of the fact that this establishment wasn’t carding.

My first clue of their underage status, besides their very youthful appearance, was that as they downed their Sake, they snapped pictures of themselves with their cell phones. It’s been my experience, having bartended myself for seven years, that people of legal drinking age don’t have to prove that they are drinking with photo evidence.

I turned to the moms on my right and asked, “Did you see those girls get carded?” They replied that they had their eye on them and noticed that they were not carded. This information fueled my agitation. I thought to myself, how many people have watched these girls carry on and, in effect, have ultimately failed them — from their parents before they left their house, to the restaurant, to the bartender in the bar, to the server at the table, to the “moms” sitting on my right. You know how you feel when you’re watching something and a voice inside your head says “this is wrong. Someone needs to say/do something”.

What I said to those girls at that moment may not have been profound or the perfect thing to say to “reach them” but I could tell it landed on them. It wasn’t an easy thing for me to do. I was with company who I knew wouldn’t appreciate me getting into someone else’s personal business. From my point of view, however, in addition to it being quite literally my business, I also couldn’t imagine getting on the road knowing that these girls were behind the wheel somewhere. I imagine it gets easier each time you step out on the ledge and protect what’s important.  Let me know what you might have done in this same situation.